A Big Fat Royal Wedding

On Friday the royal wedding between Prince William and Catherine Middleton was solemnised. One hopes that it will bring to an end the on-your-face coverage of an affair-proposal-engagement-wedding that the media, and this time its not just the Indian television media, has covered to the extent of regurgitating revulsion. The silliest and minutest of detail has been analysed threadbare that calling it ‘Wedding Trivia’ would be trivialising it — Where the couple first met, what was the colour of the skirt Kate was wearing then, what are Kate’s fears (this includes a wardrobe malfunction when she is the cynosure of more than two billion eyes at Abbey)... the list is long.

That having been said there are a few positives we can take from this jamboree which was telecast live around the world. Things have not been looking up for the Conservative-Lib Dem coalition from the time it came to office in May 2010. The economy is caught in a quicksand and rescuing it has pulled down every Briton’s spirit. So plagued is the country with cuts and reforms, add to that the wars it is fighting, that Blair-bashing and jokes on the Duke of Edinburgh have lost its edge. It is at this juncture that Prince William pops the question to which Kate blushes in response. And to adapt the infamous words of the ‘great princess’ in 18th Century France to today’s Britain, when it is hard to find bread, Qu’ils mangent de la brioche (Let them eat cake). And Britons are having that cake at a rumoured cost of around £50-80 million.

Another group that are benefiting are the bookies. Bets were placed right from the colour of the queen’s hat to the amount of time Kate would keep William waiting at the altar.

The economic slowdown caused by the sub-prime crisis has affected most countries in the world and if a wedding can lift the spirits of an emotionally and economically beaten Britain, it sure can be tested in other parts of the world. The royal families of other European countries are not as prominent as the British royalty and this space is taken by their illustrious politicians. In France, the latest news that has the nation excited is about whether First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is pregnant or not. The news has been overshadowed by the royal wedding but it is expected to soon gain prominence. To lift the spirits of Italians perhaps Silvio Berlusconi could marry. His current wife Veronica Lario has filed for divorce and once that’s through, the Italian prime minister can walk down the aisle for the third time. The only thing he would have to be weary of is that unlike his bunga-bunga exploits he should ensure that his bride is of marriageable age.

India can also do well with a wedding booster dose. And it is not sure if this will lift the morale of the aam aadmi plagued by a lack of governance, but the most eligible candidate for the wedding tamasha is the crown prince of the grand old party. The eligibility criteria here are the promptness at which the television media, especially the English media, is willing to pick up anything and everything done by the 40-year-old “amul baby”, to use the epitaph given by a veteran communist leader recently. I’m not sure about the intricacies of finding a bahu for him, but I’m placing my bet on the fact that the couple will go to a nondescript village in UP for their honeymoon.

Meanwhile, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, as William and Kate will be known from now, can sigh in relief as the madness has just about begun.