I also did it. Finally! - Part Two

(From 'I also did it. Finally!')

After everything was over, I did not know what to do – ‘Should I say ‘thank you’? Do I shake hands?’ I thought. I had not rehearsed this part in my mind. I just walked away without giving or waiting for any pleasantries. I don’t think I turned back either.

I am not sure how many would have had such an experience, even remember when they did it first and how many would be open about mentioning it.

(To be continued…)



It happened on Saturday (March 26, 2011). It was about five-thirty in the evening. The Sun had lost its way in the midst of the many high-rise buildings in the city. Twilight was setting in. I was returning after an interview with two film chief technicians. The interview was at their office in Kodambakkam (yeah the place is notorious for certain nefarious activities and has a locally synonymous connotation) and I must confess that though I’ve been in Chennai for a long time my knowledge about the area is poor. The roads are not familiar and so the traffic arrangement appeared funny.

It happened at a one-way which was bifurcating to the left and right. I had to go to the right but was in the lane turning to the left. Thinking it was fine to turn to the right, I took a turn and there in front of me was a traffic constable. He was in a hurry and reached for my ignition keys. I gestured assuring him that I surrendered and pulled over to the side. (There was a sense of satisfaction on the face of the constable and his companions. It was as though they were a pack of wolves who were salivating at the sight of a trapped sheep).

I got off the vehicle and went to the constable who was resting his arm on the bonnet of his Bolero. “You know it was a mistake.” I was in no mood to argue – there were no traffic signs in the vicinity. “You know, you could have met with an accident.” I did not know how to feel. Should I be happy that the Tamil Nadu Police are so concerned about the safety of motorists? “The fine is Rs 1,350.”

‘No way, this guy should be kidding’, I thought. Here I was like a dog caught in the blaze of a headlight on the highway. I smiled at him. It was more like a please-don’t-screw-me smile. He repeated the ‘Rs 1,350’ part a few more times till he was sure it sank in. After a bit of haggling, in which I told him that the amount he had quoted was too harsh, he asked “You tell me how much should I write? You choose.” It was the month-end and I presume each police station had a certain number of traffic violation cases they had to book, and thereby fill the government coffers.

Maybe he felt sad for me. He would have realised that my purse was not fat enough for the time he was investing. From the initial quote he offered a 50 per cent cut. It was end-of-season-SALE for the police as well. ‘Up to 50 % OFF’.

He enquired about my employer. ‘This was my chance to be the topdog’. I told him that I was from the ‘Press’. On hearing this he was a bit surprised. The senior officer, who until then was busy on some paperwork, turned and looked at me.

There was a pause that didn’t last very long. The constable offered a revised quote. From 50 per cent he offered a discount of 80 per cent. Now that was not bad! The ‘Press’ worked.

Finally we settled for an amount. He took the money in the infamous underhand swift action. I’m not sure if he slipped it into his trouser pocket or into a compartment in his service cap. I asked him if there was a receipt or chellan for the transaction (I would have framed it). It was his turn to smile. It was a you-should-be-kidding-me smile.

I started my vehicle and zoomed away. I was feeling bad that I had settled to give a bribe. I did some thinking on the way (there was a lot of time for that as the traffic jams were real long). The more I thought about it, the more I like it. It was my first time and it was funny. Looking back, I’m telling myself that had I been a bit more prepared, I could have walked away paying nothing. And that’s the story of my first bribe to a police official.

(The End)

I also did it. Finally!

Finally, for the first time in my life, I did it! I knew that I would have to do it someday and always thought that it would be easy. When I realised that I was going to do it, I smiled to myself and thought to myself: ‘This is going to be easy’. After all, I’ve seen it ‘live’ -- this intimate, secretive ‘dance’ between two people, and have seen it any number of times on television and in movies (though it has inadvertently been dramatic in most of them!)

As a kid one is warned against it (mostly by elder siblings or by parents who are open to talk about such issues) and in catechism classes one is taught that it is a sin. Socially it is a taboo but nevertheless a majority of the people have done it and continue to do it – at street corners, behind cars… almost every conceivable place on earth.

But soon I was a bit apprehensive – ‘Should I? Am I erring?’ My hands were shaking and I started to sweat. No matter how many times one rehearses the whole act in the mind, it’s different when it happens.

However the other person was Dr Cool and that helped me a lot in the process.

Though I was feeling a bit ashamed and guilty right after it happened, now, in retrospect, I feel good and elated that it finally happened. The first time, they say, is the best. I am not sure about that but one thing is sure, it’s not going to be the last. After all living in 21st century India, how can one avoid getting into it at least once?

After everything was over, I did not know what to do – ‘Should I say ‘thank you’? Do I shake hands?’ I thought. I had not rehearsed this part in my mind. I just walked away without giving or waiting for any pleasantries. I don’t think I turned back either.

I am not sure how many would have had such an experience, even remember when they did it first and how many would be open about mentioning it.

(To be continued…)

What's in it for India, Obamaji?

India is just recovering from an Obama spell for the past week or so. There are various analyses on the different things he did and did not. The best way, I think, to sum up US President Barack Obama’s visit to India is the way a friend commented on the Obama visit on facebook -- Obama angane nammaley padhapichu. He also posted a translation for the less privileged ones -- Obama has buttered us up with his sweet nothings! How true!

All the sweet talk, rhetoric on security and cooperation and ‘India’s vital role in world order’ will keep the Indian media and pundits busy for a few days. To get a hang of this a bit of Indo-US diplomatic history is essential. I’m not sure if how many caught a good analysis of the history of US meddling with Kashmir since Independence by Goplaji Malviya in the The New Indian Express (http://tinyurl.com/3xxh8dc).

There are many things that stand between an Indo-US relationship that India envisages and a relationship the US desires. And the reason for this is not far. President George W Bush had stated this sometime during his first term in office -- ‘the US has no friends, only allies’. And in politics there are no permanent allies; they keep changing according to the political realities of the time. This fact is tacitly discussed by Harold A Gould, a visiting scholar in the Center for South Asian Studies at the University of Virginia, in his book The South Asia Story where he describes the relationship various US presidents have had with India and it is clear that India has always been viewed with difference, as the ‘other’.

If now the US has started looking towards India it is not because India has ‘reached’ the world high table (as if often said about India). We should not forget that India’s record on various Human Indices is worse than sub-Sahara Africa. If the West has started to give India a glance it is only because of the latter’s growing economy and the chances these countries see in advancing their cause by getting into partnerships with New Delhi.

Regionally also India is not the nation to look up but one must admit that India is ‘on its way’ to greater height. The greatest example of the neglect was seen when India was not invited to the 50 nation conclave discussing the future of the Af-Pak region early this year. At that time the US did not see it fit to acknowledge India’s ‘important presence in Afghanistan’ as a vital factor’. Today Obama is all praise for the good job India has done in the war-torn country. Talk about changing perceptions!

I don’t think that his visit is in anyway a message to China. All the analysis that the US wants to check an intimidating Beijing by boosting New Delhi is thin air. We are no match for the power that China has risen to be today and no one knows that better than the US. More than $2 trillion of foreign reserves is with China. Annual trade between China and the US is around $50 billion while with India it is $13 billion.

No matter how much we try to deceive ourselves into the supposed grandeur of Obama’s visit, the fact remains that the world’s most powerful man came calling on because it was necessary for him to create jobs in the US to salvage his job. One should not forget that his ratings have been climbing downhill ever since his historic win in 2008. It seems like he lost a magic talisman he was keeping until November 4 and is now in the hunt for it. Obama’s India visit is sure a big boost for him back home as he has brought 50,000 jobs and business worth $10 billion.

Obama has told what we in India were waiting to listen. Our fixation in painting Pakistan black and that of getting a permanent seat at the UNSC have blurred our vision for the actual targets -- focusing on increasing our GDP and investing more in R&D. Obama’s visit in a nutshell has done more damage to India than the likely benefits it is to bring about. The damage is long-term and the benefits are only likely.

Media and telegenic violence

The quality of a democracy is measured in the freedom its citizens enjoy, under the Constitution, to voice their views without fear. Productive discussion, constructive criticism and the sagacity to ‘agree to disagree’ should be the yardstick used to measure the maturity of a democracy. It is not a positive sign when the state fails to protect this freedom from being questioned or intimidated by power or might. On Sunday (October 31) this freedom was intimidated when around 100 BJP Mahila Morcha women gathered outside the residence of Arundhati Roy and indulged in vandalism in the pretext of protesting against the writers pro-azaadi stand on Kashmir. Without getting into the merits of her statement, it should be said that the right to express oneself cannot be usurped. If there is anything ‘seditious’ in her words it is the duty of the government to look into it.

It is a cause for concern that similar acts of violence are on the rise; acts which once were the generally associated with the Shiv Sena in Mumbai who resorted to high-handedness in the name of the Marathi manoos, but now is common, be it the Sri Ram Sene unashamedly bashing up girls in Mangalore or religious fanatics chopping the palm of a professor in Kerala.

The police and the television media should also be blamed for their ‘tacit’ encouragement to such forms of protests. That the incident occurred at 11 am in the morning in a high-security diplomatic enclave of Luytens’ Delhi leaves a lot of explanation from the side of the police, especially because this was the second such attack on the writer’s residence, the last one in June this year.

What is disturbing is that before the group gathered and resorted to violence three different TV news channel crews were present in full gear to cover the incident. The question is: Were the news channels intimated about the protests? If so, why were the police caught unawares? Did the presence of cameras and OB vans egg the crowed to resort to violence? It is a known fact that media presence, especially live coverage, is the much-needed oxygen for such trouble mongers.

It seems that in the rat-race for survival of TV news channels, it is not just people who are being ‘sacrificed at the altar of TRP ratings’, to quote Arundhati Roy, but so are the fundamentals of journalism. It should not be forgotten that the above mentioned June attack was a result of a false report that appeared in the media about the author. The violence resorted to by right-wingers, the callousness of the police (administration) and the insensitivity and irresponsibility of the media (particularly broadcast) is a deadly cocktail that we should avoid at any cost.

(The edited version of this has appeared in The New Indian Express. Link:

http://expressbuzz.com/opinion/editorials/the-media-should-introspect/220738.html)

A saga of human endurance

Not every day do we come across stories of human triumph on a grand scale. Wednesday was such a day when the world turned its focus to San Jose near Copiapo, a small nondescript town in northern Chile, to watch the rescue of 33 miners who spent 69 harrowing days inside a mine cut-off from the outside world.

The ordeal began on August 5 when 70,000 tonnes of earth caved in and trapped the miners, including a Bolivian national, 2,000 ft below the surface. Initial efforts to locate the miners failed; with no progress for about two weeks the worst was feared — deaths in the mining sector in Chile are not uncommon; this year alone 36 miners lost their lives. However, on August 22 when the drill probe was lifted to the surface it had a note attached to it which read “We’re fine in the refuge, the 33”. This was enough to lift the sagging spirits of a whole nation united in grief.

President Sebastian Pinera’s government brought in expertise from around the world resulting in the spectacular rescue. The first miner to step out of Fenix 2, the rescue capsule, was Florencio Avalos, and the last miner was the shift-in-charge, Luis Urzua, who like a true leader, guided the trapped miners through the gruelling 69 days and was the last to leave. The manner in which the rescue was organised deserves our unstinted applause. The government has promised to take care of the miners for up to six months and help them readjust to normal life. However, there are issues which need to be addressed, the safety and better working conditions in the mines, not being the least of them. That the blueprints provided for the San Jose mines were outdated and that the escape routes were blocked reflect the fact that employee safety has not been a top priority. Chile, the world’s top copper producer, needs to address this issue head on.

The world has watched every step of this drama which this newspaper has reported at every stage on its world pages. It has been an astonishing sequence of events that we have watched with bated breath, involving as it did, a saga of camaraderie involving 33 miners, untold misery and uncertainty with a happy ending. In due course a more detailed narration, either on print or in celluloid, will no doubt emerge to engage our attention. Till then: Here’s to a great display of human endurance, courage and never-say-die spirit!

A nation with too few toilets

The stench of a report released last week by the United Nations University’s Institute for Water, Environment and Health in New York City brought the world’s attention to the fact that India’s vast open spaces are a latrine for half the population. To drive home the point Zafar Adeel, director of the UN think-tank, said that while about 45 per cent of the 1.2 billion population has access to mobile phones only about 31 per cent has access to improved sanitation. Not so long ago a WHO/UNICEF report stated that for every 10 people in the world defecating in the open, close to six were in India.

Two aspects need to be highlighted. The first is suggested by Corinne Shuster-Wallace, co-author of the report. “Even the word ‘sanitation’ is sanitised, perpetuating ancient taboos about discussing human waste…” How many people would discuss sanitation over the morning coffee? The second is the failure to create the awareness needed to drive home the importance of sanitation. Nor has the government focused sufficiently on bringing down the cost of a usable toilet and its long-term functioning. At the micro-level city corporations and panchayat bodies have given no thought to building public toilets. The few that are found are terribly maintained. How many of the bus/railway stations in our cities/towns have toilets — leave aside their condition? The government could take a leaf from private organisations that build and operate toilets in many of our cities and towns.

According to the Millennium Declaration adopted by the General Assembly of the United Nations in September 2000 member countries, India included, are required to achieve eight development goals by 2015. If the IWEH report is anything to go by, India would miss five of the eight goals by miles, thanks to a deplorable sanitation scene.

If people are to view sanitation as a serious issue governments too must look at it gravely. The same focus and publicity that is given to the Nuclear Summit, to cite an example, should be given to a summit on sanitation where mayors and civic councillors would discuss how to provide citizens with what is a basic dignity, a clean, usable toilet. It is true that if nuclear knowhow falls into the wrong hands the world will be at risk, but it is also certain that diseases caused by lack of sanitation are killing millions, especially children, around the world every year, and the number is rising.

Ahmedabad jottings

Ahmedabad jottings

See the stars in daytime

They say the signs seen at the beginning of a journey are premonitions of what is to come. Since I was flying with the ‘best’ airline in the country from Chennai to Ahmedabad I did not think the flight being delayed was a bad omen. Almost all flights are late. The cabin crew at the entrance to the plane had a smile that was welcoming. I placed my cabin baggage and took my seat. If I thought travelling in the city bus was bad, this was worse. My knees hit the front seat and I had to sit diagonally to fit in. I took a deep breath and thought about him. I could understand what he meant by ‘cattle class’ and could forgive Shashi Tharoor for his candidness. After the regular safety drill the cabin crew dished out food that resembled two rock formations surrounded by pebbles. ‘Sir, it’s channa and aloo’. No sooner did I have it than the rumbling started. I dashed to the toilet in the front. There I remembered the tag line of the airline, which promises a few stars in their service. I can vouch for it — I did see stars.

Three colours, all green

Ahmedabad is a city of contrasts. If some roads are jam-packed with vehicles others are deserted. If there are ancient cars plying the road leaving behind a back cloud, there are also the latest super-luxury cars in abundance. It is among the most polluted cities in the country but has an efficient CNG system for its public transport. The autorickshaws ply by the meter, which is a welcome change. But traffic is chaotic, to say the least. Except for main signals and intersections where there is a cop, at other places irrespective of the signal — red, orange or green — it is green for everyone. Sudden breaks, a touch-and-go or a gaali is taken with the ride.

Planned transport

Though Ahmedabad is Gujarat’s main metro, Gandhinagar is the capital. It houses the administrative wing along with the sprawling CM’s residence opposite the Akshardham temple. Gandhinagar is a planned city though my cab driver was of the view that it was deserted: “Ek bhi (Shopping) Mall nahi” However what impressed me the most was the Bus Rapid Transport System (BRTS) developed by Gujarat Infrastructure Development Board for the Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation. The BRTS covers approximately 17 km from the RTO to Kankaria Lake with most of the lane exclusively meant for BRTS buses. This means the whole distance can be covered, at certain times of the day, within 20 minutes. If reports are to be believed the BRTS serves 30,000 people a day and is set to expand. This is exactly what a city that looks into the future wants. There is no alternative to an efficient public transport system. Another attraction, at the end of the BRTS, is the Kankaria Lake and park that surrounds it. The Atal Express, a toy train that encircles the lake, is a fun ride.

Apna style story

In and around Ahmedabad there are a lot of temples to visit and some of them, I must confess, are worth seeing. Though I cannot recollect most of their names, a common feature in most places was the tight security and though it was a weekday there was no respite for the number of visitors. Mobile phones and camera are a strict ‘no-no’ and in some places footwear along with baggage is restricted beyond a point. Another common sight is the presence of guides who promise to narrate the ‘stories’ behind the temple and the other artefacts. In one such temple a few boys approached me and offered to guide me. “Sir, story boldunga. Hill ka story” Another boy said: “Sir, poori story. Style mein boldunga.” “Sir, mandir ka story, apna story, poori story…” I paid three boys and listened to them. By the end I had got my money’s worth and stories enough for a few more temples.

Welcome mischief

Gujarat is a dry state. It is the land where Mahatma Gandhi was born and thus, I believe, there shall be no high spirits. The day I landed the local papers had carried a news item about a person who was arrested after being found in an inebriated state. But my local sources told me that getting the spirits was as easy as in any other state. The highway from Ahmedabad to Rajasthan is picturesque and one cannot but notice the difference when entering the neighbouring state. There is a beaming sign: ‘Welcome to Rajasthan’. Below it two people laughing and the words ‘White Mischief’. Soon shops selling liquor appeared. The desert state is far from dry.

Modi, the superstar

This is how a typical hoarding, hosted by a political party for an inauspicious function would look like in most states: The largest picture would be that of the party president. Next, in almost equal importance, would be the picture of the president’s son who is the heir to the throne. This would be followed by the state chief, local area secretary and other small fry. The party emblem would be used either prominently beside the chief or even in a decorative pattern along the border. In Ahmedabad and the surrounding areas too there were hoardings raised by the state government but they just featured chief minister Narendra Modi and the scheme advertised. The BJP emblem, the lotus, was missing not to mention pictures of party president Nitin Gadkari or senior leaders like Advani. It simply meant that in Gujarat Modi is the superstar.